Stranger Still....

I keep forgetting I have this blog. It is only through strange and, as in the most recent case, somewhat traumatizing events that I find my way back here. In a moment of retrospect, I decided to look online for some of my friends from whom I haven't heard in quite a long time. One of those people is a girl named Aimee. We had a somewhat turbulant but passionate relationship. Just before I decided to go back to school, she called me at the little shop where I used to work. It seems like she was calling from Portland, but it's been so long now that I may be wrong. I don't know why she was calling me...I guess for the same reason I went looking for her today. She just wanted to chat. I was at work, so I couldn't really talk much and kept in pretty short. Anyway, my internet search led me back to this site....a memorial to her on another member's blog. It was from 2005. It seems she committed suicide. Suddenly and abruptly, I found myself taken back to my early twenties...1993/94 and a tiny little coffee shop, where I worked and everyone played. So many things I would have done differently and so much I have yet to attone for. I can't find any other information about her...Just a tiny bit with her name and when she died. There are things I'd really like to say to her....Things that NEEDED to be said and never were. Certain things just don't stay behind you. Despite how far removed I thought I was, this hurts like hell.